I live out my spirituality in a number of ways. I'm a Unitarian Universalist whose practice and belief are strongly influenced by the Buddhist tradition. I'm a religious humanist. I'm an agnostic about many things religious and spiritual, preferring to acknowledge mystery rather than claiming to know things I really cannot know. What all this means is that the "Jesus Story" which is being celebrated this time of year, isn't fully my story. Nor can I get into the commercial aspects of the holiday. I often feel like the entire culture is throwing a huge party to which I haven't been invited. Which means that I spend a lot of time every December trying to figure out what this season means, or can mean, to me. So come along as I reflect on the December dilemma again this year.
Actually, my muddling in this started earlier than usual this year, and it began with considerable irritation. I was at a store in late October trying to buy a Fall-scented candle. I couldn't find one because . . . they had their Christmas candles out. I like spruce and balsam candles as well as the next person, and buy them in December, but it was October, and I wanted something spicy.
Part of the problem, then, is that the commercial aspect of Christmas has overwhelmed not only the spiritual part of it, but the holidays that come before it too. At least, can we have one holiday at a time?
Over the years, I've found things about this season that I can relate to, that do have meaning for me. We have three Nativity sets which had been in my husband's family prior to our marriage. I find a quiet joy in setting them out and in their centering presence among the hustle and bustle. The story of Jesus is a story of Incarnation, of the sacred becoming fully present in the person of a tiny, squirming, squalling Baby. The sacred is intimately present in our everyday human existence. Although for Christians the incarnation of God in the person of Jesus is unique, it speaks to me of incarnation more broadly. Each of us, every one of us, is an incarnation of the Holy, each in our own unique way. All life is holy. The human community is sacred.
I was dismayed initially at my husband's insistence that we must decorate for Christmas the weekend immediately following Thanksgiving and must have Christmas "stuff" absolutely everywhere. Over the years, I have come to delight in his enjoyment of Christmas decorating, even as I have sometimes campaigned for somewhat less of it. My own preference tends to center on decorating around the seasons, so it's Winter following Autumn at least as much as Christmas following Thanksgiving; they fit together well.
The common theme of light in the midst of darkness is another one I can relate to. I like clear lights. The effect of clear lights, for me, is more subtle and more evocative of the symbolic meanings of light. Window candles and our lighted wreath are my favorite decorations. Winter's days are short and the nights long, and the presence of light cheers me and reminds me that longer days will again come. The lights call to mind the miracle of Hanukkah, with its day's worth of oil burning brightly for eight days.
The same is true of evergreens. I love their aroma! Like light in the midst of winter's darkness, they speak of hope, of endurance, of renewal. Many bear fruit or berries even in the cold of winter. Outdoors, they give shelter to birds and small animals. They remind me that growth, and hence hope, lives on even in times of cold and darkness.
Each of us can find ways to make the season more meaningful. I try to always have a dollar in my coat pocket for the Salvation Army bell ringers, mindful that they serve a population that may otherwise not be served. Our extended family has agreed to make charitable contributions instead of exchanging gifts. Cherished traditions with friends punctuate the season. I find time daily for quiet amid the noise and haste. And I make time to attend some of the wonderful musical events this season brings with it.
It's also important to accept it if we don't feel all that fa-la-la-la-la and ho-ho-ho. Better to honor and respect how we do feel rather than blaming ourselves and feeling guilty for not having the "right" feelings. There is no need to wallow in unhappy feelings, but denying them won't make them go away. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend.
May you find and celebrate whatever makes this season of light and hope meaningful for you!
Rev. Julia Corbett-Hemeyer
Community Minister
Unitarian Universalist Church of Muncie, Indiana
(This column originally appeared in the Yorktown Press section of the Muncie, Indiana, StarPress, on December 22, 2011 and is reprinted here with their permission.)
