Thoughts on Waiting “Alone Together”

We wait for whatever will come—which we do not yet know— “alone together,” as one recent columnist put it.

While we are waiting, we absolutely must distance ourselves physically in order to flatten the curve and help lessen the likelihood our health care system will be overwhelmed. Doing so also helps protect each of us, especially those among us who are most vulnerable. Equally, we must not distance ourselves emotionally and spiritually from each other. While we must assume that anyone (ourselves included) may either be infected or a carrier of the virus, in our hearts, let’s not regard one another as just potential sources of infection. We are all still co-travelers together on life’s journey, held in the infinite web of all that is.

In talking and in thinking about the pandemic, we can use people-first language: “people with Covid-19” and not “Covid-19 cases.” We can avoid blaming by using language like “people becoming infected” rather than “people spreading the disease.” And it isn’t the “Chinese virus”!

I’ve found it helps me to be mindful of the language I use in self-talk, too. Simply thinking “I am staying home” is much better for me than “I have to stay home” or “I can’t go…”  “Self-isolating” sounds, well, isolating. On the other hand, “sheltering in place” has a much different emotional connotation and comes to the same thing.

For the rest of this column, I will focus on a couple of spiritual practices that sustain me and help me feel connected to others. You can modify them in ways that work for you.

We’re being told to wash our hands frequently. As I do, I like to meditate on the realization that we are all interconnected to one another and to the web of life by the very water we are using. Ultimately, all water comes from the ocean, and all oceans are connected. Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has a short meditation verse or gatha for when we turn on the water:

Water flows from high in the mountains.

Water runs deep in the Earth.

Miraculously, water comes to us, and sustains all life.

I like to add these lines:

As this water flows over my hands

May I pause to be aware

Of the way we are interconnected by this water.

This is also an excellent time to use the Buddhist Metta Prayer. It isn’t a prayer to a deity, although if you pray, you certainly can understand it that way. As I understand it, it’s the setting of our hearts on a firm intention, expressing a hope with all of our being. There are many versions of it, and you can write your own that speaks specifically to your heart. The general format goes this way:

May I be filled with loving kindness.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be well.

May I be at peace.

You can expand by substituting for the “I” any group you would like to include: our congregation, your family & friends, healthcare workers, specific people by name, anyone. If you like to sing, there is a version of it in our teal Singing the Living Tradition hymnal, # 1031, “Filled with Loving Kindness.”

Remember that Rev. Seth, I, and our Pastoral Associates are available to talk. I’m offering two Zoom-based chats weekly, one Tuesday mornings at 10:00, and the other Thursday afternoons at 3:00. They’re drop-in chats; you may stay for all or part of the time. It’s a safe space to speak your truth in this time and to witness others’ truths, a space where we can hear and be heard. As a church, we continue to develop more opportunities to allow people to connect in ways that are both safe and provide the emotional and spiritual sustenance we all need so deeply in this time.

In Community,

Rev. Julia